1. Who are you?
Lawrence Whitechapel, Brother-Sergeant of the Foot of the Light, and de-facto leader of the Lightist Mission to the nation of Grantabrugge. Also a paladin. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only sane one. I expect everyone gets that, though.
Lawrence Morgagni, the White Terror - scourge of the seas of Wallachia and First Mate to Captain Molly. The piracy is more of an image thing than a vocation, if I'm being honest.
2. Do you have any brothers or sisters?
One sister. She is, I understand, an accomplished tailor. It's some years since I've seen her in the flesh.
Still a sister. I imagine they told her I'm dead. I should send a letter...
3. How old are you?
Twenty-eight.
I died aged 28. It's considered bad form to keep counting after that.
4. What's your height?
Five foot eleven. I try to look six foot when on duty; it's expected.
Usually about 6 foot. Depends if I remember to keep my feet on the deck.
5. Are you a virgin?
No.
I didn't die a virgin, and I'm not about to go into any detail about... arrangements... since then.
6. Who's your mate/spouse?
Excellent question.
That would be Mistress Morgagni. None of this 'death do you part' nonsense, it seems.
7. Do you have any kids?
Doubt it. Certainly hope not.
I suppose I technically get half shares in Molly's eight adopted orphans - but they're far away. In practice, I just have to put up with her mothering every gribbly monstrosity she summons. She made a Kraken put a scarf on because it was cold out... Where did she even find a scarf that size?
8. What's your favorite food?
A tough choice. I retain a fondness for certain Teutonian sausages (I spent two years there - I'm not a native - was actually born in Peter's Borough, although I grew up on the south-east coast). Also yoghurt. Can never get the latter on campaign, of course.
Hearts. Definately. Those things are gooooood.
9. Have you killed anyone?
Yes. Many of them deserved it. Many of those deaths helped prevent more and worse deaths. Many could have been avoided. Some were, in retrospect, ill-advised. A very few were probably Innocent. There are plenty of regrets I could have in this regard, but I choose to live without regret.
Well, yes. I still won't kill without reason, though.
10. Have any secrets?
Of course. Who doesn't? There are plenty of things I am strictually bound not to tell most people. There are personal secrets, big and small, that would endanger or hurt me, or those around me.
Fewer, I think. Not constantly lying to yourself and those around you helps with that. As does not being responsible for PR and the accounts.
11. Do you love anyone?
Does 'the people' count? Bit of a cop-out answer, I'm afraid, but I really do. It's why I do this.
Molly.
12. What is your job?
In effect, I run the paramilitary aspects of the Foot of the Light mission to Grantabrugge. Domestic and logistic matters are not my direct responsibility, but patrol schedules, services, and matters of policy and politics are all my ultimate problem. I spend a lot of time patrolling, of course. Couldn't give sensible instructions without personal involvement, and I wouldn't expect the respect of the men if I didn't lead from the front.
I see this as more of a retirement cruise, really. Or perhaps a honeymoon. Keeping the seas clear of the wrong sort of nasties, engaging in a little light piracy to support ourselves, sightseeing. Time of my life, as it were. I might start on the career ladder again sometime - understand there's always room for more ambition at the top, and I can't imagine this hierarchy works any differently to the last one, when all is said and done.
13. Boy or girl?
Man. Or, if you enquire as to my sexual preference, I like women. I understand there's something of a stereotype involving paramilitaries with uniforms and well-polished boots, but I'm afraid I don't oil my leather that way. As it were.
No, not really. I mean, I'm undead, and there's some wight and some fae mixed in there, but I'm afraid I'm rather beyond my own ability to categorise. If you know any experts, I'd love to chat to them...
14. What do you do to relax?
I'm quite content to leave that to your imagination.
Squid herding. Not only are they ridiculously placid about the whole affair, but the expression on Molly's face is priceless.
15. There's a person who's teasing you; what could you do?
What I really shouldn't do again is deploy any sort of supernatural power frivolously. It's a terrible example to set. Some more mundane retaliation might be in order.
Take the hint already, you lummox.
16. Let's say you have a person who you really care about but she/he doesn't know about your feelings. How do you tell her/him?
Ah yes. Subtlety. We're famed for our lack of it. Quite useful, actually - means I can be straightforward in such things without causing comment.
I don't have that problem, and I doubt I could offer you relevant advice. Get on with it, though... not everyone's immortal.
17. What do you regret most in life?
I choose to live without regrets. Were it not for that, I suppose I would say 'the way our work is seen as an attack'. Or possibly 'doing your mum'. I have a sense of humour, by the way - but I confess it doesn't get a great deal of use when dealing with others of my church.
Following the Light? Don't get me wrong, a lot of good came of it, but I wonder how much more I could have done if I'd not shackled myself to that hypocrite.
18. Do you like your maker?
The Light? No, not especially. On the other hand, I have enormous respect for the strictures he has laid down, and for the world he wishes to see built. Since he is effectively anathema unto himself, a little internal conflict is to be expected, of course. As for Inquisitor? I'm just glad he doesn't have access to any true magic. There's no question he'd do all sorts of inadvisable things with it.
Vivamort? We seem to get on okay. Don't think we see eye to eye on everything, but he's decent enough.
19. What do you fear?
Death. Failure. Inarticulate, baseless, hatred. Being reliant on other people. Vampires. Gods. Nothing unusual, I'd say.
Having experienced all of the above, I'm running out. I think I'll just say 'Molly grinning'...
1. What would you kill for? What would you die for?
I kill when my duty requires it, and I cannot or should not avoid doing so. I would kill for revenge. I'm really not keen on the idea of dying, but would take a clean death over a worse fate.
I'm pretty much okay with killing things, actually. Far too much stuff in the world that shouldn't be. Won't kill 'because I can', though - that's not on. Dying... well, I died to spite someone, and because I stopped caring about living.
2. What would you refuse to do under any circumstances? Why?
I wonder about that, sometimes. I have trouble thinking of an atrocity I would not commit in order to prevent a manifestly worse one. That said, I believe I would not deal in good faith with demons, nor allow my soul to go other than to the Gods, or to true oblivion.
'Sacrifice a child because I say so?' Nah. I'm an abomination, not a monster.
3. What do you dream about? [Either literal or figurative].
Literally? Bits of life that never quite happened, same as most people. I've seen some pretty horrific things, I guess, but they don't interrupt my sleep any more than memories of a particularly strict teacher from my formative years. Figuratively? An Innocent world. Free of the temptations of the Supernatural, or any call for the use of such.
Dreaming is for people who sleep. I sunbathe. With my middle finger up.
4. What's your biggest fear?
Becoming an instrument of mass slaughter, as the War in Heaven comes to the Prime.
Oh, Vivamort, definately. Who knows what he could turn me into.
5. What single object would you be most hard pressed to part with? Why?
You don't really get hung up on objects too much, after a few years moving around the country. Right now, my sword, because I need it when I'm on duty, which is always - but the actual physical lump of metal could be replaced without causing me any great trauma.
Two red circles on some leather thong, 'Use what you are given' written on one. Parting words from a dear friend, and they got me through a bad place.
6. What is your fondest memory?
1288. Jelmstorf, northern Teutonia. Every man, woman and child in the city turned out at three in the morning to cheer us on our return, and repent of their past misdeeds.
Molly threw herself in front of The Lady to try and save me. I never knew she really cared before that. Gave me something to live for, as it were.
7. What is your worst memory?
Probably the burned tower in Kirriemuir. Lots of skeletons, many too small to be adult, and all missing limbs. The smell, as well.
Actually, I'm going to stick with that. It really was very unpleasant. The spirit wrack was... almost a relief, despite being painful, and dying... well, I was screwing over someone I hated by dying, so that was fine.
8. What or who was your most significant influence? Expound.
Probably the chapel for which I'm named. I grew up in its shadow, and I understand I was something of a mascot for the men stationed there, when very young. It was something of a given, by the time I was 12 or so, that I was going to enter the Foot - and I did not fight that.
The temple steered me one way, Molly steered me another. Where I end up, who knows?
9. What do you believe makes a successful life?
Direction, perseverance, honesty, and the ability to accept that not everything can be perfect.
Don't ask me, ask Evelyn. He did the job, saw that it was time to move on, and went to mend his fences and make good. I spent a lifetime reaching for the impossible. Maybe I did some good along the way, but it was hardly a success.
10. What makes you laugh?
Jokes. Particularly ironic accidents. Anyone who suggests using more of the same magic that caused a problem as a way of solving it. Politics.
Are we talking about the happy laugh or the other laugh? The happy laugh comes out to play when something funny happens. The other laugh occurs whenever someone thinks they can mess with my world, and I work out I'm going to stop them.
11. What are your religious views?
I follow the Light. I consider it to be more of a philosophy, and less of a cult of personality. I consider it my duty to worry about the wider ramifications, and larger goals, rather than to pay scrupulous attention to the details, or to refuse any flexibility in my methods. I'm aware that I differ from many Lightists on these issues, and consider their approach to be understandable but regrettable.
I'll spare you the rude version: The Light is more mad dog than deity, having been driven insane by his own rampant hypocracy - and his followers range from good people caught in the crossfire to rabid beasts that simply need putting down. Vivamort has a weakness for excess, and it will probably be his downfall one day, but is delightfully free of pretention. All of the gods are insane by mortal standards, though.
12. What is your greatest strength?
Being unexpectedly reasonable, I fear.
I'm a pragmatist with the boddy of an unstoppable, uncategorisable, killing machine? I've stared into the abyss so hard it stared back... then I cut out its heart and ate it? My rapier wit?
13. Do you have a fatal flaw? If so, what is it?
I will always consider compromise. That's probably going to get me branded a heretic sooner or later.
I'm vulnerable to chocolate. Totally. You should try it.
14. Who is the most important person in your life?
My mother. Who is in thriving health, and fortunate enough to live in a town threatened by none of undead, invasions or civil war. I understand she's currently terrorising the Teutonian refugees in the southern coastal region by being aggressively welcoming.
Molly.
15. If you died or went missing, who would miss you most?
The poor sap who took over organising patrols, I fear. Maybe others, maybe not - hard to know what I think, these days, never mind anyone else.
I actually want to write a letter to the temple, let them know who they need to pay for the milk, and where next month's patrol roster is in the filing cabinet. Thing is, I'd get into the 'You fools, you are decieved by a mad god, you know not what you do!' routine, and they'd dismiss it as the ravings of an abomination. Shame really, because the milkman's a nice chap, and I don't want to see him out of pocket. Also, Molly, totally. She'd go mad with nobody to talk to on this ship.
16. How would you describe yourself?
An impure champion for a cause of impossible purity.
Depends if I'm being melodramatic. I occasionally introduce myself as Brother-Lieutenant still, since they've never actually revoked that rank in person. Mostly 'don't mind me, just getting some groceries' or 'Lawrence the White, Terror of the Deeps!'. That's White, not Wight - I'm kinda a stickler for details... and the white cloak really looks good on me still.
17. How would others describe you?
"Bloody Lightist". "The sensible one". "Erm... guess Sergeant'll sort it out". "Just smart enough to be a danger to himself".
Well, I've had 'argh, argh, it's got my leg', 'the wight... erm... thing', 'you in the cloak', 'sir'... I get 'sir' a lot, actually - they really know how to be polite to greater undead in these parts - and of course 'abomination unto the Light'. Also, I totally gave the guy his leg back.
1. How do you look different to your player?
More muscles. More scars. More tanned.
More undead.
2. What are your hobbies or entertainments?
Woefully lacking, for the most part. Can I count city politics as a form of entertainment?
This piracy lark is wonderful, especially when you're just out to shake people up a bit. Board a ship, disarm the crew, and invite them to dine with the fishes while grinning madly... then actually throw them a banquet and invite a few of those fish things from down the way. We laughed about that one for weeks.
3. How do you support yourself?
"The Temple sees to my needs". Or, since I run half the temple (admittedly, not that half), I guess the answer would be a combination of tithe from the faithful, and the various small services the temple performs for a fee. I eat the same as the Brother-Privates, however.
Recreational piracy, entirely voluntary donations by civic minded folk who like the fact that we're not ravaging the countryside, and there's no room for any other monsters with us around, that sort of thing. My needs are few, of course.
4. What is your home like?
5 stories underground, and full of water. The new Temple doesn't feel like home yet. There, as before, I have a fairly plain cell - albeit quite a large and airy one, with a huge desk.
Ship, skeleton crew, 'spiky bone' motif. Different views every day.
5. What are your most cherished possessions?
Cloak and sword. Symbols of office...
Holy symbol. More for the memories than the actual symbolism. I'd been looking forward to sticking that cold iron spear where the sun shon, but it broke. Ho hum.
6. What are you proudest of?
The good name and good work of the Temple in this city.
I cut the bitch up, and I ate her heart. My plane, not yours.
7. What are you most ashamed of or feel most guilty about?
Things done in the name of the Light, and with his assent, albeit passive. Faye.
Still Faye, actually. Should have just hurt her with the truth, rather than leading her on trying to keep everything happy.
8. Under what circumstances is it justifiable to resort to violence?
To stop violence, or prevent it. To stop or prevent things worse than violence. To corrupt someone, even if only with information likely to lead to temptation, is to do violence against them. I can pretty much always justify violence, if I'm being honest.
What is this 'justify'? I'll use violence if it serves my ends, and not pretend that the moral high ground made me somehow better.
1. Your character is being announced at the Royal Ball by the most pompous, enthusiastic and long-winded Master of Ceremonies in recorded history. What do they declaim?
Brother-sergeant Lawrence Whitechapel, head of the Grantabrugge outpost of the Foot of the Light.
Brother-Lieutenant Lawrence Morgagni, The White Terror and holycrapwhatisthatgetmeoutofheeeeeeeeeeeere!
2. Give a 6-word backstory and/or history for your character, prior to their entering play - it is needed for the character bio on the back cover of this season's DVD.
Temple's shadow, inevitability. Well-traveled veteran.
History is history, and I'm not changing it now... just looking at it from a fresh perspective.
3. However improbable it may seem, your character just won a boasting competition. What was their winning boast?
"Met him? Well, yes. Saved his life while I was at it..."
"...and then the guy says, 'also, we're not sure we're happy about the Vivamortian girlfriend, but it turns out nobody ever actually thought it necessary to make a rule against it...'"
4. Your character loses a hand irrevocably, and is given the opportunity to have something grafted on to replace it. What do they pick?
A shield, probably with a rising sun shape worked into it. Preferably removable.
Like I'd get to choose. It would be a race between Vivamot and Molly to put some kind of bladed tentacular weapon on there. Either way, it would be awesome!
5. What one impossible thing would you most like to have, be, or be able to do, in order to better physrep your character?
Definitely the light show - glowing sword, dramatic sunbeams, flashes of light when I strike people, glowing hands as I work magic, the full works.
The voice. It needs the right unearthly echoes.
6. Your character is asked by their immediate superior which one thing they would choose to save from their dwelling, were it on fire. Sensing that a flippant answer is not called for, how do they instead answer?
"The sleeping Vivamortian. No, I'm not joking. No, you don't want to know."
Do vampires burn? Eh, not taking chances...
7. Your character was abducted by Nightmares (or local equivalent) on the way out of the Arms, and wakes up in a sack (just as armed as they left the pub). What do they have in their pockets, and what one further thing do they wish they had also picked up from home this morning?
A couple of schillings, a copy of the latest printing of the Guide to the Undead, fingerless gloves, a device for blowing up ritual circles, a contraceptive elixir, a healing elixir, a negation elixir, a thermos of hot tea, a tasteless headscarf, the night's patrol schedules for the Foot. A small barrel of lamp oil.
I don't really have pockets. Then again, I don't really get kidnapped by Nightmares. This is a really dumb question - how about 'under what possible circumstances would someone knowingly kidnap an off-wight?'?
8. Your character's life is flashing before their eyes. Describe briefly any two of the following: Leaving their childhood home. Losing their first love. The first time they killed. The first time they lost a comrade. Another occasion on which they nearly died. A time they lowered their standards. A time they abandoned hope. Something that terrified them
9. Your character wakes up in a Militia cell with no clear memories of their last few hours. Given time to think it over, why will they conclude they are there?
Politics. Probably of the 'I tried to kill someone' variety.
Some kind of irrational prejudice against undead killing machines, I expect.
10. Your character was obliged to leave town. As they fled, they left messages with a trusted friend. Most of them dealt with religious and social obligations, and put in place provision for their return (or otherwise) - but they found time for one quick personal note. Who is it to, and roughly what does it say?
"Ships in the night? Over my dead body."
Well, that was a laugh. Meet you at the usual place, love?