WHEN TT GIVES YOU LEMONS...
Gods:
- Azrael: Bury them.
- Bast: They are YOUR lemons now!
- Balance: Give a lemon to TT.
- Crafter: Hand them out to the community,
- Humact: Admit it.
- Justice: Exact retribution upon TT.
- Kormak: You have done nothing to deserve these lemons. You must perform a MIGHTY DEED before making the Lemonade of the Worthy.
- Laeknir: Grant lemonade to the suffering. Squeeze the pith into the eyes of those who deserve harm.
- Luca: Oh? Lemons? What? I saw a lemon in my dream! Aubergineeeeenes.
- Mallan: CRUSH the lemons beneath your iron fist.
- Morvana: Use them to prevent scurvy.
- Sordan: Make lemonade. ENJOY lemonade.
- St John: Avoid contact with eyes so as not to turn a blind eye to suffering.
- The Light: Now all you need is a white tabard!
- Vivamort: Use them.
Groups:
- Mercenaries: Weaponise them.
- Merchant's guild: Sell them on at a markup.
- City Watch: Check for reports of a lemon heist.
- Alchemists: Make them explode!
- Launderesses: Charge extra for "lemon play"
- Red College: BURN THEM!
- Brown College: Cast Harden Stone, throw them for BROWN DOUBLE.
- Green College: Juice them and spend an evening talking to lemon juice.
- Black College: Freeze them, make granita.
- Blue College: Make Lightning. REAL LIGHTNING.
- White College: Continue your research on the extraction of sunlight from citrus fruits.
- Grey College: Make the lemon ping to DETECT EXTRAPLANAR, slice it up and serve with gin and tonic, enjoy ensuing hilarity.
- The Sluagh: Give TT a gift in return. A favour unrepaid is an enduring obligation.
- The Gossip (Old management): Counterfeit them.
- THe Gossip (New management): Sell advertising space on them.
- The Glorious People's Republic of Revolutionary Coton Manor: Drive PCs off again with an egalitarian barrage of lethal citrus.
- League of Concerned Citizens: Hold a meeting, write a treatise against lemons, circulate it around the city, hold another meeting.
PCs:
- Bil: Ferment them.
- Gerald: Report on the Mysterious Lemon Appearances!
- Justin: No real difference, you look like you've been sucking them anyway.
- Bathory: Consume the lemon as penance
- Keshrel: Try to work out if the lemon was your fault.
- Skord: apply lemon to people who act rashly.
- Meredith: Shout at whoever is to blame for the lemons.
- Cal: Bill Talis for "Lemon related expenses"
- Alferwen: The lemon is stolen from someone else
- Will: Use the lemons to torment Alferwen.
- Shyn: Hack it up and trample on it until nothing but an mushy goo is left.
- Ailooholt: Ask someone what a lemon is.
- Roger: Put lemons in peoples drinks
- Talis: monetise the lemon via some crazy scheme involving making hats illegal or something
- Bone'ead: Hand out lemon peel as extra Mercenary sashes.
- Pan: Bounces up and down shouting, "Dad, Dad, DAD! I found LEMONS! LEMONS! YELLOW LEMONS! YELLOW LEMONS!"
- Sorrel: Declare the lemons to be shiny, and then hand them out to urchins as a reward for Good Hunting.
- Leith: Squeeze the juice into your own eyes during sex, because new experiences are always a good idea... right?
- Leith (after meeting Maia): Realise that you have been dreaming of lemons every night for the past week.
- Althea: Declare the lemons to be dishonourable/undead/Vivamortian?/in the way and smite them!
- Flo: Panic in case the lemons might accidentally catch fire and it would be ALL YOUR FAULT THAT THOSE LEMONS DIED.
- Levanter: Share the lemons.
- Elspeth: Declare that the lemons are SO UNFAIR!
- Krsto: Hm, zinc and copper, you say? Is not enough power! Watch as I am put the caesium and astatine in lemon, yes!!
- Damien: Acquire further lemons via Mind Control, fondle them lasciviously, then try and beat a demon to death with them.
- Kings Crossbow Legion: The Lemons have kidnapped the King! Undertake a Dashingly Handsome and Talented rescue. When you discover it is not the king, seduce 'em.
- Mrs Blackwater: Well, if life gives you lemons them you with damn well make life regret that it did.
- Brother Florian: Realise you had not been prepared for lemons, protest that lemons are not a suitable fruit for a monk, consume them awkwardly and worry about what the Abbot would think
- Larch: Ask Keric what to do about the lemons.
- Chess: Well, the lemons probably killed someone, right? Execute the lemons!
- Bralak: There are still Lemon trees which are not on fire? I'll be right back...
- Ambrose: Offer the lemons to the ancestors as a gift.
- Joshua: Condition alchemical base with lemons.
- Ezra: OD on pink lemonade.
- Meg: Argue with Sebastian over what the purpose of lemons is. Lose because you threw the lemons at him to win.
- Eric: Examine the lemons for magical properties.
- Theivin' Mack: Eat the lemons and then steal more lemons.
- Samantha: Be heavily confused by the presence of lemons and try to avoid accidentally murdering anyone with them.
- Teth: "Mum, Mum, I found a yellow thing. What is it? What do you do with it? Can I keep it?"
- Eurus: Take as many as possible and hide them in your bag. Later feed them to Brian
- Wulfric: Detect Alchemical! Lord Vivamort, Grant to Your Fief the Ability to Know the Nature of this Puzzle Piece, Detect Spirit! Then try to squirt the juice in Boreas' eyes.
Refs:
- Corinthus: Cackle, as your devious lemon-plot is finally paying off. Whether or not you were running a lemon-plot. Keep the players on their toes.
- 2012 3ygb Team: Squeeze the juice into people's eyes.
- Porange: The lemon will be very well physrepped but will be horribly cursed and destroy everything you have ever loved
- kangaroo: the lemon is horrendously overpowered, but hey - look at that! it already ate your soul!
- Salavant: Tell Jim he's not allowed to use them.
- Jim: Use them when Salavant's not looking.
- Hoeloe: The lemon is tormented, megalomaniacal and insane.
- Fingolfia: Geckoes call MANTIC CRITICAL VITALS HEAT METAL by lemon.
- Zebbie: Feed them to the giant faehamsters.
- 2013 3ygb team: Infect it with black and silver goop, watch the players eat it
- 2013/14 refteam: Make delicious lemonade, and sell it to the characters. THE LEMONADE IS PEOPLE.
- Hobnoblin: HexenLemons?! HexenLemons?! HEXENLEMONS!
- Pia: Send in the Fae of Annoyingly-Sour-Lemonade! Send in the Concerned Citizens to complain about the Fae of Annoyingly-sour-Lemonade!
- Pewterfish: http://www.amazon.com/EcoJeannie-Citrus-Tap-Pending-Extractor/dp/B00EKQESTE
- MorkaisChosen: Make a lemon meringue pie. Cackle as ghouls burst from within its fluffy white interior.