One time in the college of Green Was a hydrokin frankly obscene It can fire a man's verve To see how her curves curve And it's not just her spells that cause steam!
A young necromancer once said As she murdered the man she'd just wed "Priests of Azrael are tasty Let's not go to wasty!" Poor death priest can't fucking stay dead...
While born in a haystack was Talis Right now he resides in a palace Though the mayor, some think He belongs in the clink But it's probably not out of malice.
A baffled young skaven had cause To ask of a priest of the laws "WHat are tits, small or ample?" On being shown an example She asked, "Where's the feathers and claws?"
There was a young priest of St John Whose talents went horribly wrong If pain she would ease Her player'd call FREEZE I don't think she'll last very long...
By a door there lies on the cold ground A corpse with its guts spilled around If the door is to start You must massage the heart With a squelchy wet dribbling sound
Limericks are more fun to say in a truly Vallachian vay switch double-you and vee It's easy you see I do it vhenever I may.
A dashing young hero went out With a hat and no shadow of doubt He got covered in mud And lost buckets of blood Then at last came the call of "Timeout!"
There vas voman, called Astrid it seems the subject of a paladin's dreams she set off one day to kernow they say where he then died through religious extremes
There once was a girl, if you please who vent to sail the high seas though her ship vas not not new and had a skeleton crew she looted with incredible ease
A young man in chain and then plate thought Humact was really quite great He went looking one day for undead to slay And is now unfortunately late.
This is not strictly TT related, but I felt like sharing it:
Hwaet! I shall sing you a song! And it won't be too terribly long For once I was told Of a hero right bold And rather incredibly strong.
A young warrior came from the Geats found the Danes in the midst of retreats They all slept in fear of the beast that is near and takes them at night for his eats
Now Grendel (that was the beast's name) found our Beowulf wasn't the same. It went to cause harm but then lost its arm And Beowulf a hero became!
Grendel's mother was rather put out And plotted within her redoubt But Beowulf swam Down to say "Hello ma'am" And they fought till he struck a knockout
Then he took a sword down from the wall Of the monster's dank blood-spattered hall He chopped off her head (and now it is said, used it in the first game of football)
Now a hero of greatest renown He went to his homeland and town There became a lord With a wonderful sword And a truly remarkable frown.
One day a young dragon came by Seeking vengeance for loss and a lie It was raging and mad And ferociously bad So their boldness their fears did belie
Brave Beowulf, being a king Knew what must be done with this thing Wiglaf stayed true And the dragon they slew But Beowulf was wounded to dying
His body is buried, they say On a cliff on the side of the bay With him (I am told) Lies the dragon's gold And a curse that's to keep it that way.
My story has come to its ends Just like Beowulf, Grendel, and friends While these heroes so bold Are right fond of gold They don't seem to know of amends
--Tea