Bio
He arrived in Granabrugge in January 1293 from somewhere "out West past Glostershire".
In heavy armour and a shield he found work quickly in the Mercenaries guild, he is surprisingly well educated for a mercenary.
Fairly no nonsense, Cal trusts his shield and his sword arm. His usual response to most magic is "you're doing what?"
Recently stopped the village of little Ackington from summoning the demon "Crafter" and dragged their high priest to the temple of Justice for judgement. As a result of the trial and judgement he was fined 10 shillings.
Currently is Captain of the mercenaries guild and thus happy to be hired out for parties who need some combat muscle for their hairbrained adventures.
Went to the plane of light, looted the treasury of the Oni Solomon - Lord of Rainbows. Was less than impressed with the return. Killed Solomon, sadly losing one of the party in the process.
The city sent him on an all expenses paid vacation to Andalucia, where along with the rest of the Mercenaries Guild, he stole 2 of the 7 wonders, the contents of the treasury and 3 of Cardenal Snipo's favourite dancing girls. He is using the Great Lighthouse of Andalucia as a desk light.
Recently has "foiled" the Scarlet Swog. Or at least carted him off in handcuffs before handing him over to the militia.
He has recently acquired certain interesting "issues" over his mortal state, leading him to being laid to rest twice by Molly.
- Hurr Hurr! -Delvy
He also has the terrible affliction of people assuming that Cal is short for something and trying to fill in the rest.
He led a team of adpt negotiaters to deal with the Merchant Venturers. Halfway through he found that the MV's were fucking with the mercenaries. The warehouse burned down shortly after.
In the midwife moon he helped defend a village against hordes of undead, with mixed success. Cals attitude being very much, if the villagers were going to run off, he wasn't going to chase them. A lot of them subsequently died. In the final battle he was stuck with a curse then impaled through the collar by the mid-wifes spear and collapsed. Comatose and unresponsive to any healing for a time he regained conciousness during the after-battle party, but didn't stay for the festivities and limped home after getting a debrief of who didn't make it.
Cal was involved in the death of the lady protector, getting stabbed up for his troubles and currently has a broken shoulder. This has not improved his temper.
Finally he went to deal with the Brotherhood of the Axe, run by one of the ex mercs: Mickron Smith. In the brotherhoods camp the party found out that Cal was indeed a very angry man when he let it out against Mikky. Afterwards wounds and poison caught up with him and he fell against a group of banits as the party fled and bled to death.
Quotes
"So we are going to fix this magical fuckup using an even bigger magical fuckup."
"Oi Demon! Come and have a go!"
"Elijah, why couldn't I have had you as judge for the cultist trial?"
"Everyone alive, got the gold, got the girls. I call this a Win!"
"Could I remind this impending fight, 1 mercenary captain, sitting here ready to be hired."
"We now fall back to plan B. You do not fuck with the mercenaries guild. Kill everything."
"I fucking hate villages."
Related Stuff
/Cals Office
Memes
Character Questions
1. Your character is being announced at the Royal Ball by the most pompous, enthusiastic and long-winded Master of Ceremonies in recorded history. What do they declaim?
Captain Cal of the Mercenaries Guild, Acting Provost of the City.
2. Give a 6-word backstory and/or history for your character, prior to their entering play - it is needed for the character bio on the back cover of this season's DVD.
Boy leaves family to decide his own life.
3. However improbable it may seem, your character just won a boasting competition. What was their winning boast?
I took down the Oni Solomon, and fought him in single combat.
4. Your character loses a hand irrevocably, and is given the opportunity to have something grafted on to replace it. What do they pick?
Wand of blinding.
5. What one impossible thing would you most like to have, be, or be able to do, in order to better physrep your character?
Tricky one for cal, he's very much WYSIWYG. Possibly the ability to appear to people as their abilities perceive, or instant psyrepping of all the injuries he gets.
6. Your character is asked by their immediate superior which one thing they would choose to save from their dwelling, were it on fire. Sensing that a flippant answer is not called for, how do they instead answer?
My ring.
7. Your character was abducted by Nightmares (or local equivalent) on the way out of the Arms, and wakes up in a sack (just as armed as they left the pub). What do they have in their pockets, and what one further thing do they wish they had also picked up from home this morning?
A chunk of money, some blank contracts, a little notebook. On my belt is a dagger and 2 swords. I go to the Wessex Arms to drink, find people to hire me and fight, thus I'm fully equiped to stage a jailbreak.
8. Your character's life is flashing before their eyes. Describe briefly any two of the following: Leaving their childhood home. Losing their first love. The first time they killed. The first time they lost a comrade. Another occasion on which they nearly died. A time they lowered their standards. A time they abandoned hope. Something that terrified them.
The shouting match had no intention of dieing down. After Cal had cursed his parents, his father again, their enemies, the gods and the pointlessness of their fued his father had uttered the immortal words: "If you walk out of here boy, you will not walk back".
They were words said to his back. He was leaving for somewhere, and he had no intention of ever returning. His father still had spare sons.
Dodge, counter, and with a quick hack to the back of the arm the bandit lost his sword. Cal smashed his shield into the mans face, knocking him to the floor.
Step forward ready to finish.
And the fearsome bandit for a few seconds ago transforms into a boy in his early teens, clutching his injured arm in terror. Clothed in scraps, face gaunt, probably a decade his junior. Cal felt the adrenaline drain out of him, the battle was over, he'd won.
Seeing his guard lowered the boy paniced and darted, grabbing his fallen sword with his left hand and swinging widly. The sword connected, hard enough to sever the links of cals mailel and send him staggering, without the armour it would likely have been fatal. The response was automatic, shield up again in a stunning blow then a loose slash to keep the other swordsman parrying not attacking.
Except a village boy had no real idea how to parry, and the slash opened his stomach up. He collapsed to his knees, making a gasping sucking noise as he tried to speak while his guts tumbled out, their eyes met, the boys in panic fear, begging for impossible help or a miracle, then he toppled forward.
His stomach heaved, and Cal spent the rest of that fight hurling next to the corpse of his opponent. The other guards finished the remainder of the bandits then christened him upchuck and congratulated him on surviving his first kill. Later one of them stitched his side back together. Told him he would have a nice ragged scar to remember it by: the only good enemy is a dead one.
The drugs were coursing though his body. "SOLOMON. COME AND HAVE A GO IF YOU THINK YOU'RE HARD ENOUGH!" Saying this to an Oni who is consuming an entire plane of magic may not have been the best move in hindsight. Frankly, he didnt care. Confidence, belief, strength and bloodlust as he dodged and blocked and hacked his way to the Oni. It was chaos, he could no longer see Elizabeth, Will, Barny or Ruth and frankly didn't care either. What mattered was the battle.
Eventually there was nothing left to hack. He stood victorious.
And he looked out over the field of his victory, and felt it turn to ash.
Elizabeth was still concious but couldn't move, Barny was clutching his side but standing, Will and Ruth were not. They managed to get to will to stop him bleeding out, but by the time they found her body Ruth was already cold. She had been flanked and hacked down by one of the lesser demons. Flanked and cut down because he had been too busy playing the hero instead of watching out for his party.
There was blood in his eyes, up his nose, in his mouth, bits of Miccky embedded into him, his limbs were sluggish, the armour too heavy, dragging himself towards the main exit of camp was a chore. Was it injuries, or one of mikkies poisons? He remembered feeling like this: after the midwife had stabbed him. He would be barely able to swing his sword.
There was shouting on the gate, he tried to get it through to them: I can't run. You go, I'll buy you time. Blake didn't get it. A look further ahead and Ysmey and Earnest are about to run into a 2nd mob. Battlefield decision, fatigued mind. Leave Blake here to be hero, engage 2nd group so others can flank round them.
Move forward. Momentum can substitute for muscles.
His shield was heavy, too heavy now, he let it drop to the floor, 2 hands on his sword, give it all the power he had left. His allies in front part to either side to avoid being surrounded, leaving the centre open. He crashed into the centre of the enemy line and swung with all his remaining strength. A last thought comes to him. Perhaps it was the old humacti lies he had been brought up with. Perhaps it was the muddled rage. Perhaps it was just his own vindictiveness: take as many of them with you as you can.
9. Your character wakes up in a Militia cell with no clear memories of their last few hours. Given time to think it over, why will they conclude they are there?
Beating the shit out of somebody who richly deserved it, the only worry is "was it an offical guild job or not"?
10. Your character was obliged to leave town. As they fled, they left messages with a trusted friend. Most of them dealt with religious and social obligations, and put in place provision for their return (or otherwise) - but they found time for one quick personal note. Who is it to, and roughly what does it say?
Talis: Don't fuck this thing up.
Bonus questions rejected from the above list:
What would your character's alignment be given as, if they appeared in a pastiche of the Monstrous Manual? Two words only.
Contractually Negotiable
Your character is asked by the second-best friend of their mother, or maybe by their mentor's bridge partner, "So, what is it you do all day?" - how do they answer?
I help the militia by keeping thugs off the streets.
Describe a death for this character that you, the player, would consider pure, unadulterated win.
A ritual circle with someone attempting to summon a big bad evil world eating nasty, who is in despirate need of a hug.
Under the effects of Compel Truth (which requires them to give full and truthful answers), your character is asked, without context, "Where did you hide the bodies?" How do they answer?
The mass grave at the temple of Azrael. Duh.
Your character was voted "Most Likely To (something)" by their class (or equivalent). Most likely to what?
Do something really stupid if there is pay/loot involved.
Following a lost bet during a particularly raucous evening, your character is obliged to get a tattoo of something, the following morning. What image or phrase do they pick, and optionally, why?
Them, not sure. If its the mercenaies that got to pick it would probably be "Property of Molly Morgani."
Your character discovers that a parent, superior or local notable is about to visit their dwelling place. What is the first thing they hide?
The pimp cane.
Look And Feel Meme
What do you look like? / What are you wearing and why
Full heavy armour under a yellow and black tabbard, carrying a pair of swords and a shield. I'm captain of the mercenaries guild, people expect me to be ready for a fight, it's sort of like a business card. Thus I go to the bar equipped for a major combat, I usually get it as well. Other than that, I'm tall, a bit skinner than your average merc with grey hair and thanks to some luckily timed magical healing, my right cheak is mostly a burn scar from an exploding enemy and my neck is scarred from the Midwifes curse. My face still twitches any time someone mentions demons, reminding me what by all rights I should have in place of a left check. My chest has the stitching of about 6 different doctors on it, but seeing that requires me not to be in armour.
Where do you live?
I have rooms in the mercenaries guild, one of the perks of being captain is you get your own sweet.
How do you support yourself / your dependants?
No dependants for me, unless you count 3 Anderlucian dancing girls. If you are willing to take the risky jobs mercenary works pays pretty damn well so I don't have any problems getting by. Right now the city is paying me to manage the army.
Why on earth do you come to the Wessex Arms on a Friday night?
3 reasons:
- Meet potential clients
- Free drink
- Fighting
Who do you normally hang out with and why?
Edwin and Talis, why? Because someone has to keep this city in order, and that someone is us: city governance, law and order and the army, we generally have a lot to talk about. Milton and Molly tend to be around often and have my sort of sense of humour - vindictive.
Anyone you avoid? why?
Generally not: Mercenarying is equal opportunities, discriminating solely on your ability to pay. Most of the stuff the mages talk about usually goes right over my head though, which is impressive considering my head height.