14:31 < Inquisitor> But yes, the key thing to realise is that I'm not relying on you, I'm taking advantage of you. In a sort of 'min-max your life' way, not a mean way.
< darktachyon> who has been doing what with a kinky giraffe? Edith denies everything < Entimix> swans have been napalming it < Locksmith> it's porange's fault < Locksmith> this morning she had a giraffe with a gimp mask in her pigeon hole < Locksmith> and that sentence is just so, so wrong
< Pufferfish> ahdok: Do the words "subject" and "object" mean anything to you in a grammatical context? <ahdok> sure. My grammar is often subject to objections.
< TheKremlin> this is #larp. TMI is everywhere, lurking around corners, clinging to the ceiling < TheKremlin> watching, waiting.
* TheKremlin watches the angry ghosts get trapped in all the semen
< Entimix> porange: In Soviet Russia, glee fill you with rectal foreign bodies.
< Zebbie> bryony: when you see a holy symbol of vivamort in this world you are supposed to stop, not charge forward to smite the undead :)
< Chevron> grapefruit: nature's chastity belt.
< Locksmith> that's not a cooking pot, that's a small bath
< Corinthus> so, I'll sodomise your baboon, sort of a thing?
< Corinthus> I'm addicted to murder. I don't have moral dilemmas anymore.
* Entimix murders Corinthus to satisfy the cravings
< Bluebottle> o/~ I can show you the world / Shining, shimmering, splendid / Tell me, princess, now- WHO JUST SPAFFED THROUGH THAT MIRROR? o/~
< Pufferfish> Magnus as a porn star: "I take off my wizard robe and hat"?
< Bluebottle> podsmith: Go do something else that does not involve reading bad smut. < TheKremlin1?> and making biscuits out of my ejaculatory fluid.
< porange> (honestly, iside the human pelvis is a complete mess!, needs some cable ties)
< Zebbie> a tree has wanked all over our bathroom through the open window
22:57 * Zebbie feels like specialised dryad porn
< felix> I think if the flamability of your baby is relevant you're probably Doing It Wrong
< ahdok> lobster is to vagina as france is to iraq?
23:19 * Chevron wants to see someone milk a dalek.
< Entimix> ...pubic moustache? o_O
< porange> for weeks I fed nightmares in my downtimes < porange> they're like ducks, only spikier and more morally ambiguous
23:20 * Locksmith rubs Essence of Breast into Entimix's abused brain
< porange> pigs onna comb... the ultimate fashion accessory?
< Aardvark> Mmmmm, nipply hippocampus. How delightful.
< Locksmith> sufficiently loud good music is like deep-throating a fire hydrant MADE OF CHOCOLATE
23:12 * Jacob is neither sexy nor deific, but is totally devoid of shoes.
< Locksmith> A miniture of Rheinfelden's head is one of the many things I Do Not Need on my clitoris. Ever.
< Pufferfish> the chilli nuts were solicited.
< jacob2> Julie Andrews represents everything that is wrong with the world.
18:52 * jacob2 suspects that the correct answer to "how do you solve a problem like Maria" is "with an Elder Sign".
< porange> like attaching suckers to nipples and using breasts to climb the empire state building
< bryony_> there are whole worlds of sex change zombies just waiting to happen
< net> You're not so much having sex with the hamster, as using it as a sort of furry condom.
< BB|work> Latin's occasionally a bugger when you don't know how they want you to pronounce certain consonants or vowels whose pronunciation can very depending on when it was written. < net> BB|work: Modern English poetry has that problem. < net> (What immortal hand or eye/Could? frame thy fearful symmetry) < BB|work> net: Immortal poet William Blake / when it comes to rhyme is a bit of a hack
< ChessAtHome?> compared to Greenheel, angora rabbits are spiky and hairless.
< Pufferfish> It's like Inquisitor's Thing only more distubring
* oxfordgirl leads the Crusade for Common Usage, encounters misuse of "cohort", autoschisms, attempts to burn self at stake.
< androidkiller> And as the hand of the light approaches the member of society it's time to ask Samantha for the teams' scores
< Locksmith> now my biscuits taste of penis :(
< Locksmith> ... *megan*'s iced vagina is on facebook?
< Chevron> since i heard someone use "by the ring", i keep thinking of goatse balance.
21:54 * porange crawls in and gnaws corner of channel in frustration 21:54 < porange> I do not need to know this much about rat sex
< Chevron> porange, hypothetical question: if you carried a severed finger around, would it begin to smell noticeably?
23:40 < yeknod> no clothes? just tie a couple of squids together!
< Locksmith|essay> I take lexical perverts to the seaside and rub them against the groynes
< Aquarion> I find your bacon pants disturbing.
<Entimix> My freezer is now full of breasts
00:11 * TheKremlin carefully does not milk Locksmith
Entimix: I am furry. Also, I have stealth breasts!
<androidkiller> Lots of corpses / in a pile / and underneath / a necrophile!
< porange> I AM BASICALLY DOING A DEGREE IN RAT SEX
< porange> Potatoes are eternal
< porange> the spoon shows INSUFFIENCT BLOOD SACRIFICE TO THE TEA
< TheKremlin> even so, nothing made of chainmail should go up there
< Pufferfish> ...do I want to know how mating haggises were physrepped?
< Pufferfish> fudge: I was TRYING not to think of vodka bukkake
< porange> for some reason I feel the sanity levels have not been much lower than normal < Locksmith> ... I just put a tube of lipsyl on plato's republic and fellated it < Locksmith> send help < porange> I retract my previous statement
< FacticiusVir> I resent the idea of wandering into a fields and randomly ejaculating on some eggs that I find. That shit ain't cool.
< Bluebottle> TimB: Is this chair going to start touching me in inappropriate doctrines?
< porange> after several hours nake male gets less interesting.
< porange> COVER ME IN SANDWICH SPREAD AND THROW ME TO THE BREAD GOLEMS
< workdok> I mean, you can't trully claim to have perpetrated buggery until you've been with a myrmidon.
< Bluebottle> Locksmith: ...if your pubes are that luxurious I am mildly envious.
< Pufferfish> I wish to sneak around and eat Drac and lay my eggs in his corpse again! I can't wait --Drac
12:38 * Entimix glues a bathmat to Aquarion's bra
<Locksmith> (of herself, porange and the 3ygb) We haven't so much 'lost it', as 'driven to a remote corner of the countryside and buried it', and now we don't know where it is.
<jacob> The whole point of being a pirate is that you don't have a budget! You steal everything, you don't go around saying "whoops, I'd better let you keep that, it's a bit out of my price range"!
< Thesisbie> i like the idea of using the furry balls as a collecting thing, I'm really not so convinced about neck testicles
< porange> I actually used to be articulate, able to smell and gramatically accurate < porange> 2 years of stupid penis extension naming has reduced me to an inarticulate wreck
< porange> I refuse to dignify that question with an answer < Locksmith> please dignify it :P < porange> no, it's pants are off and it has tinsel round it's penis
< BB|work> o/~ Take, for instance, Miss Morgagni and her pie shop / Business never better, serving little zombie cats on toast / now a cat is good for maybe six or seven at the most o/~
23:49 < porange> locksmith: I have just googles length of rectum 23:50 < Locksmith> yeah. Isn't very long before it bends 23:56 < porange> oh gods 23:56 < porange> it contains columns of morgagni 23:57 < Locksmith> ... what, the rectum? 23:58 < porange> yes 23:58 < Locksmith> :D
< porange> OH GODS BALANCE IS THE COSMIC CHUCKLE BROTHERS
< porange> wears nothin 'neath the kilt for not mortal underpants can contain his mightly tentacle(s)
< Locksmith> make a bunch of undead throwing penises < Bluebottle> Locksmith: ... < Locksmith> ... wrong window < Bluebottle> ... < tea> ... < Bluebottle> there isn't a *right* window for that < Bluebottle> although I assume you're talking to porange :)
< porange> I have Isoflexed my kidneys
< porange> we're demanding really hard but the testicles are just staying on!
< Locksmith> also I can imagine porange in a white coat and stethoscope painting people's anuses purple and drawing eldritch signs on them far too vividly
< oxfordgirl> Toast could probably double as genitals in an emergency. I've used a stuffed kitten as genitals in the past.
< porange> I seem to have lost marrifk's genitals
< Locksmith> tea: breasts should not have false moustaches :(
21:42 * SevenSecrets gets as far as the crawly nipple bugs and gives up
< porange> "oh purple tentacle, my heart and hyrdrostatic skeleton belong only to yoy, take me now" moaned green tentacle
22:29 * FacticiusVir appears to have stumbled into a zombie orgy. With brillos.
[23:47] Jacob: Albert the Dodo does not read, he can't see over his beak. The poor bird just can't make out the letters, his eyes are shockingly weak. He tried wearing bifocal lenses, to make the text come out more distinct, but sadly before he could try it with them, all the dodos went extinct.
00:48 < porange> dude that is totally awesome 00:48 < porange> so awesome I have reverted to speaking like a ninja turtle!
12:47 < porange> never. ever. forget trusers around a dragon 12:47 < porange> it might be incontinent!
< bryony> eat your opponents bacon penis off their head sounds like a fun game
< Chevron> i am not sure why i would spend precious character points on "conscience"
< porange> iquisitor: it's certainly easier to fit rivets down someone's cleavage than in the urethra...
< Bluebottle> Winterlove: God moves in mysterious, and occasionally hilariously sarcastic, ways
20:50 ! Winterlove wonders if it has warmed up enough to put the cat out tonight
< tea> porange: I submit that some pushing is required unless you have a vacuum cleaner for a vagina
< Pufferfish> also I'm quite capable of making chocolate fudge clitoris all by myself
! Zebbie has just got the vaganomicon if anyone would like to see examples of this :)
< Pufferfish> no, I was meaning to ask if you could lend me your rimmer
< mechanical_roo> you could tap on their balls in morse or something i guess
10:46 < bryony> it sounds a lot like someone is violently buggering our letterbox
10:46 < Pufferfish> bryony: I don't know, but I reckon I could do that with a certain amount of practice.
< bryony> you can really get some emphasis into that first cock
23:31 * Zebbie wonders f labia would be good to eat
< Fingolfia> Can I categorically say now that while I have no objection to you two doing this, I am not spending every week making eel scabs
< Pufferfish> Zebbie: we do have servants, they're just "the hoover" not "the maid"
< Locksmith> Pufferfish: true, but that's a rather different relationship :P
< Pufferfish> Locksmith: I'm not actually sure that it is
< Locksmith> Pufferfish: though I guess you do get the odd embarrassed man in A&E having bonked the hoover :P
< Pufferfish> *splorf*
< Gracewing> Ah, "I fell on it, honest".
< Aquarion> Locksmith: However, less chance of small half-hoovers turning up a little while later.
< Aquarion> (Unless that *is* where roombas come from)
< porange> corinthus: there is no age of consent for skeletons!
< mechanical_roo> i have just had three hours of my tastebuds fucking my brain in the pleasure centres
< Cillian> porange: Don't take this the wrong way, but you sound a lot like a crazy person sometimes
< porange> fcvo logic that lead to dousing your genitals in burning death
< porange> anyway I intend for my colon to be removed, covered in glitter and presented for wearing as st john's ball by the highest scoring anatomist in 1st year
< tea> I am not defining what happens if you cast undead creation one on a flaccid penis
< Corinthus> porange: I'd only repeatedly stamp the penis
Zebbie finds out that one of the ways of testing male human fertility is by collecting some sperm and seeing how many can penetrate a hamster egg Zebbie decides to stop googling 'hamster fertility' for a bit
porange shouts FOETUS! < tea> HURR < tea> ...that was not intended to be a response to porange
< porange> (I feel that any breasts you can hammer nails in with are the superior sort)
< porange> margret thatcher is unlikely to have evolved UV based sexual dimorphism :(
< kangaroo> i am sure that strong alcohol has been described to me as able to put hairs on your eyeballs
< kangaroo> and compared to eyeballs surely rectum is relatively easy to coax into growing hair
< Cillian> I think it's 14", I can't remember, but it's MASSIVE
< porange> scar: you only want me for my 6ft prehensiel penis :P
< oxfordgirl> Scar: <link> warning: enormous fucking tapir penis < Scar> theres a HOOF on the end of that
< TheKremlin> so now we reckon the tapirs and the accountants have a turf war up in the ducts
< Entigirl> is that how she stays so thin? Because all the fat goes on her non-existant penis?
< Winterlove> Somewhere, in another dimension, there is a penis getting bigger and bigger ...
< TheKremlin> now I wish there to be a ritual-enabled expedition to the plane of porange's penis
< Winterlove> Porange's pan-dimensional penis
< porange> thekremline my penis *is* a plane
< porange> your mum visits frequently
< TheKremlin> ...hah, extreme sports people would totally be an encounter for an interactive < TheKremlin> some people bring in an ironing board and set it up in the ritual circle < TheKremlin> planking in the ritual circle (wearing plate armour) also advised.
< Zebbie> larp kitmaking: habit forming
< tea> pewterfish: I take no responsibility for porange. she's a legal adult and not my fault < porange> MWAHAHAHAAH < porange> WITH DERMAWAX! < porange> GIVE ME YOU TORSO SO I MAY ENNIPPLATE IT
< ahdok> for some reason, my mind has supplied me with the phrase "too many cocks spoil the brothel."
< Aardvark> FELCH ALL THE THINGS!
< reflings> IT IS NOW ORGY O CLOCK
< reflings> WE ARE NOT WEARING SHOES OR SOCKS
< Zebbie> aarrgh my brain parsed branderson as a new celebrity couple of Brad Pitt and Ed Anderson
< porange> mosts gods are queenie, st john is the king from the black adder, sordan is blackadder, crafter is baldrick
< timgoh0> Cillian: I'm pretty sure that sucking off a fisherman isn't the usual recommendation for sore throats
* Penny wishes this channel had a quotes page like Maelfroth
2153 * TheKremlin invents a rumour about MorkaisChosen and the 7ft squid physrep 2154 < Winterlove> porange: awesome catfaces :) 2155 < Penny> TheKremlin: pretty sure that's at girtonhouse, start a rumour about Corinthus instead. 2155 < MorkaisChosen> Penny: No, it's currently in Steph and Emily's room. 2155 < Pufferfish> OH GOD MY BRAIN 2155 < pewterfish> Mmm, these images please me
20:38 < porange> pufferfish: taken as a favour from one of her codpeices 20:38 < porange> errrr conquests
< porange> the velociraotor is more festive than the dodo because she has a scarf made of tinsel
* bryony considers wooing porange by setting up inflatable dinosaurs in places she might walk past
19:29 < Gracewing> soddit, you can't tell them apart under the snaz and fakeblood anyway. So long as I leave the event with one of the refs that totally counts. :P
17:11 * porange has discovered the disadvantage of being the most introverted of the introvert bit on the family 17:11 < porange> I kicked andy in the testicles
< salavant> There's something quite phallic about that labflask
18:46 < SevenSecrets> What's the standing response on tapirs? 18:46 < Jim> Use them to safely light fireworks?
11:23 < MorkaisChosen> pf-work: I only have about eighteen inches now.
19:12 < Cillian> dwm: Hat stealing is /basically/ sex
23:32 < Pufferfish> porange: how big is it?
22:50 < salavant> Pufferfish: it's certainly more stealthy than the plastic vulva, yes.
22:40 < porange> the refteam only let me live because I feel them 22:40 < Pufferfish> best. typo. ever. 22:40 < porange> and have a large, warm livign room 22:41 < porange> it wasn't a typo :P
00:47 < salavant> http://io9.com/5877991/watch-ralph-fiennes-recite-smutty-harry-pottervodemort-slash-fiction 00:47 < ThunderHeart?> mmm
< salavant> YOU MAY HAVE MANY PENES BUT I HAVE 50 SENTIENT CLOACA AT MY DISPOSAL
< salavant> WAITING TO STRIKE
21:17 < TheKremlin> so no person-scale time travel, but somehow a kender sperm sample gets sent back in time? 21:17 * porange >> remove oil from hair
< Pufferfish> I do not want penises in my liver!
<Aardvark > Jim: as opposed to Preperation Ouch, the rocket powered suppository.
< ahdok> MorkaisChosen: don't be silly, the only things that get added to the quotes page are quotes about dinosaurs, penises or boobs.
<many people> HashLarpDoesHashLarp
<KremlinAtWork?> you'd possibly be best off (other than "not building a semen sculpture") enacting a form of layer deposition - let each layer dry before adding the next, get a lamellar structure built up slowly
23:51 * porange is now covered in saliva and teeth marks
< GraceWork?> Weaver says flex your hips, biatch.
< salavant> I do not sex with my cock; he who sexes with his cock has forgotten the face of his father. I sex with my heart?
< Pufferfish> I have just seen a job advert for a "Rock Cutting Technician" at earthsci :D * androidkiller cuts rock, increases swing and blues * androidkiller cuts rock, makes scissors the obvious choice * Khimaera cuts rock, finds out which popular seaside resort is origin * Maior cuts rock, places it into a small glass pipe, and lights up
< Pufferfish> he didn't even blink, he just got it out for me
< porange> jim: RETURN ME TO MY OWN KIND! FOR I AM THE SCORPION QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNN
* Jim smears salavant in axle grease and throws him to the Decepticons.
< Gracewing> well we have a suitable body here, all we need is the mind ray
< Jacob> An improper subset is still a subset.
< Jacob> So if your mum were not in your mum, I think it would be proof that you were an amoeba.
< porange> this is *so* not proper use of a stithc groover
< porange> THE WIGHTS ARE ALL DINOSAURS
<Salavant> I'm going to wake up tomorrow stuffed and glowing, aren't I?
< pf-work> any scenario in which I may be required to dip my breasts in the matter/antimatter stream is automatically verboten
<Corinthus> I am not holding this position purely to troll Megan, honest.
< salavant> Skip lunch, date pidgeons.
< Zebbie> I see the dothraki as more the free form crochet sort
< pf-work_> I may have to Tesco for donuts at some point, then
< pf-work_> (and expire messily in a flood of sticky liquid)
< salavant> #larpworldproblems: go to have a nap on bed, can't because it covered in rubber eyeballs
< porange> does anyone need a black stretch penis ooi?
< salavant> I don't have a vagina, but if I did, i can't say I'd look at it and go "well this needs some sparkles gluing on"
< porange> I just need someone with a penis
< Jim> I'll just wear strapons on EVERY appendage!
< kangaroo> porange: you see when a boy wants to go pee-pee, he needs to get his dangle outside the trousers first or it's laundry oclock
< Pufferfish> the swallowing was an accident
< Pufferfish> he just thought he'd try sucking it
< salavant> I was imagining it more like the World Serpent
0040 < kangaroo> the icon in my "family" bar of my emaciated, imprisoned, dead brother haunts me 0041 < tea> kangaroo: you aren't sober 0041 < salavant> tea: in fairness 0041 < salavant> he talks like this when sober 0041 < salavant> c.f. pidgeons 0041 < tea> no he doesn't. when does he show guilt? 0041 < salavant> shit you're right 0041 < porange> no 0041 < porange> THIS IS NOT KANGATOO 0041 < porange> THIS IS SOEM SORT OF CHANGELING 0042 < salavant> porange: I think kangaroo already /was/ a fae changling 0042 < salavant> THIS IS THE REAL KANGAROO 0042 < porange> OH GODS
< porange> the lube rink is completely innocent fun
0103 < Inquisitor> salavant: A giant parabola full of lubed people *without* planning strikes me as a disaster in progress. So planning is required.
< Entimix> If you are shooting flames from your penis you may need to see a doctor.
NOT HUMOUR BUT TRUTH: < Jacob> All one can hope for in an argument on the internet is to be able to set out ones arguments in such a way that one finds them convincing oneself.
< Zebbie> they are abominations, he is possessed, you are spiritually inconvenienced, I am doing cutting edge research?
< Maior> salavant: you're a landmine of useful information
14:36 Inquisitor I think I'd have shaved it first... 14:36 ptea that would have taken time 14:36 ptea and effort 14:36 ptea and thought 14:36 ptea and probably a concern for his wellbeing
< Aardvark> Only played with somebody elses' a couple of times.
< KremlinatWork?> my armpits are happily cock-free
<porange> I am eternal, like a potato
< salavant> porange: I can be moist if you want me to be.
< Fingolfia> QUICK, REATTACH MY PENIS BEFORE SHE SERVES
< porange> malethusiasm completely weather linked
2315 < Pufferfish> Rakdos: if what you mean is "I have a giant cock" we probably don't need to know :p 2315 < porange> pufferfish: oo good point I have one of those somewhere
< salavant> the tenizidi are massive pimps
< porange> ...where are my parasitic testicles?
< salavant> they do smell really tasty, especially the penis, which is all choclatey
< porange> for reference: I will eat penis cake
17:31 < Jim> And then WASPOR eats the illegal loggers. 17:31 < Jim> And everything else.
< salavant> "Real men fuck their mashed potatoes. Long, slow, buttery fucking."
< Fingolfia> I probably wouldn't date someone with a mashed potato fetish
11:09 * Pufferfish is damn well not going anywhere near the trade game this time 11:09 < Pufferfish> (someone please take that on record to mock me in a year's time)
< Jim_> porange: That makes my think of gently cooking a penis in water until it's still soft in the centre.
< Chevron> i prepared explosive breasts this morning.
< salavant> no, the penises are quite modest
< Locksmith> I fear not your blue genitals
< Locksmith> can you imagine that conversation? "hello, yes, it's like improvised drama, also your dog just ate our severed penis"
porange: if the internet does not sell something, the deprved mine of horror that it is, what does it tell you?
duckbunny: that we could be rich if we get there first!
13:33 < porange> I'm a whole animal biologist 13:33 < porange> it's penes all the way down
< Daxx> The moral of this story is: don't stick your dick in a jar of honey.
11:12 < porange> I can be polite company! 11:12 < porange> ish 11:12 < porange> if you squint 11:12 < porange> and put earplugs in
23:12 < porange> ARGGH 23:12 < porange> MATING SNAIL IMAGERY
16:20 < workdok> mostly because most of the NPCs were adam putting on mad scientist acents and talking about testing the "deviants" 16:20 < Taxellor> :D 16:20 < workdok> Do we know any analytical chemists looking for work?
< porange> pufferfish: AND THE GHOST OF FREUD WOULD GO "PENIS"
< porange> the penis is disembodied
< porange> I stand they laughing maniacally covered in butter and then slip through the grip of anyone trying to prevent my reign of weaselly terror
< porange> I have this weired temptation to put vaseline up my nose :S
13:03 dp301_w: basically, it's about how wanking will bring down the Empire 13:03 duckbunny: in fairness 13:04 duckbunny: we did lose the Empire 13:04 Winterlove: Its time had come. 13:04 dp301_w: seemed silly at the time but if BP were around now he'd be all 'I fucking called it you guys'
23:22 < tea> hrm. I should name my warsword 23:22 < salavant> tea: can you see out of the end?
salavant I am not holding this position purely to troll Megan, honest.
< ahdok> I didn't say penis, you can't put it on the quotes page :)
11:52 < ahdok> sometimes I wish I had sentient underpants that you could just drop on the floor and step into, then they would jump up your legs and arrange themselves comfortably automatically.
11:53 < ahdok> then I realise that that sounds incredibly weird.
11:53 < Bluebottle> ahdok: I would not trust underpants like that not to go on strike or try to consume me
11:53 < ahdok> that's half the excitement
15:57 Fingolfia: I love those huge horns
15:57 salavant: Fingolfia: they are the best
22:47 < Zebbie> are there any internal parts of the human body that would be unhappy if exposed to light (by turning transparent, not surgery)?
< Biscuits> I've now got a mental image of an actual typhoon whizzing through problematic situations and leaving everything much better
< Zebbie> Biscuits: perhaps the one that goes through junkyards and builds fully working cars to spite creationists?
*The EU wins the Nobel Peace Prize* 12:44 TimB: so if I read this right, the Nobel committee just called us a bunch of bottlers 12:44 TimB: screw those guys, I'm going to Serenity
20:15 < Pufferfish> the only thing I remember about plantsci is that they have forbidding cupboards labelled CYANIDE CUPBOARD :) 20:15 < Fingolfia> ...what are you doing for lunch?
22:02 < porange> I have no time for anatomically inaccurate penes
< Jim> Thus the mind imbalance of "Tired porange looking a bit sad and AGH AGH IT WILL EAT ME AND USE MY SOUL AS EXTERNAL GONADS
< salavant> why is it so easy to make penises out of blutak
22:40 < porange> GAH! 22:40 < porange> WHY ARE YOU FLOPPUGN YOUR FLACCID PENIS EVERYWEHERE?!
15:55 * SevenSecrets does not make freud jokes 15:55 < Pufferfish> tea: I was right, by the way. Ten inches.
Porange: I usually have context
21:56 < salavant> I like my coffee like I like my princesses: lumpy and from space
19:59 < Pufferfish> I can't actually remember which of installing linux and losing my virginity I did first
19:59 < Pufferfish> they happened fairly close together :p
ChessyPig: you do it with pigs with their limbs in front and to humans with their limbs behind, but the internet isn't giving me any good references for why the meaning drift there
< net> Canashir: Cunnilingus is more socially acceptable than cannibalism.
salavant has been to a public baths and shit
salavant clarification: did not shit in the public baths
pewterfish salavant: good to know
<Corinthus> okay, this has gone on long enough. Porange: I'll give you a 'sword' to press against your breasts. There. The honour of #larp is satisfied.
22:30 < salavant> those numbers are great :D
00:08 < salavant> SO MANY PEACHES. LET ME HARVEST YOUR PERT HAIRY FRUIT AND SUCK YOUR JUCIES.
21:28 < MorkaisChosen> Having fun? 21:28 < GraceKey?> nah, just cider
< Jim|home> "You wear nothing, Jon snow."
23:56 < Zebbie> ...is it bestality if you were both in wolf-form at the time?
23:57 < Zebbie> (and other questions life does not adequately prepare you for)
< Biscuits> e.g. Bathory and Althea went into the fens to smite some undead, then they went "into the fens" to "smite some undead"
23:56 < porange> morkaischosen: people are boring 23:56 < porange> biologically speaking 23:56 < porange> they lack feathers
14:33 TimB: sounds like a case for the Scooby Gang 14:34 TimB: (featuring salavant as Fred, Zebbie as Velma, Fingolfia as Daphne, Ed as Shaggy and Jim as Scooby Doo) 14:34 TimB: I will try to remember this as the moment I realised the truth about the ref team
<Jim> tea: Don't be silly <Jim> A weasel stapled to the face is clearly a Circlet. <tea> no, that's a weasel stapled to the hairline <Jim> Oh, do you mean down along the nose? <tea> but I'll admit you're right, a weasel stapled to the face is probably a Mask <Jim> Mhm <Jim> THat would be an amazing mask if you cut eyeholes along the back of the weasel
< wally> my signititue is now in the same book as prince phillip and mroe importantky, david attenborough
Aquarion: Because replying with "Well I think that not only are you a moron, but that other morons seek you out to bow before you and call you their king, that in previous lives you were a moron, and that your entire vapid viewpoint is a waste of the electrons used to render it" would be considered indecorous.
< Pufferfish> the penis wasn't large enough
< porange> also because pirates in my head have this massive tendency towards necromancy
<porange> corinthus: I AM GOIGN TO BECOME AN INVERTEBRATE
<Corinthus> wally: This is not Gilded Nipple Barbarians: The Larp.
tea: I have just realised that the dwarves can probably be summed up as "Never attribute to incompetence that which can be adequately explained by malice"
salavant: I mean I am cool with you wrapping my genitals in duct tape and then spraying me with glitter hikari: salavant: ... salavant: just, like salavant: if it's necessary
< salavant> rituals, like romance, often involve the exchange of arcane connections
< ahdok> my triceratops wasn't awesome enough, so I am armour plating it
<Jim> #larp, where the phrase "you have a porngraphic memory" is not a typo
<Biscuits> Jim: it is a typo
<Biscuits> There's a missing o
< Canashir> This game with Pope isn't as fun as the same game with Bumhole.
< wally> why? Why developemnt? Why do you urinate in my eyeballs
< wally> biscuits: I am not a walking penis
<Jim> Dear #larp. I wish to make a custom fitted sheath for my wand, to prevent messy incidents when getting over-excited in the woods. Does anyone have advice on making scabbards for an 18" weapon? I have thin leather, really thick leather and sheepskin <Pufferfish> Jim: 9/10 <Pufferfish> I also have advice on covering your wand.
< Biscuits> SevenSecrets: why would I shoot them with impunity when I could shoot them with fire?
< pf-work> (If the horse is on top of you rather than the other way around, you are having a bad problem and will not go to space today)
18:18 wally: net: you are emant to take those stitches out 18:18 net: wally: And I do. 18:19 net: But normally not until after I've gone "I'll just stick this in my... wait, what?!" at least once.
porange:I AM NEVER FORGIVING YOU porange:BECAUSE SOULS ARE TESTICLES
< Spawnofweevil> I want a lube cannon < Spawnofweevil> kelpie, get me a lube cannon!
< Cillian> THE CAMBRIDGE BEER FEST - "Amazing!", "Wonderful!", "the first time I have seen a vagina in public".
14:38 < Pufferfish> it's starting to sound like either ice cream or a sex manual
17:28 < Banjulhu> Hey baby, mind if I take a nibble on your lure? 17:28 < porange> man I wish I coudl have physrepped consumign people whole
< wally> FREE FROM THE TYRANNY OF KNICKERS!
22:37 < roo_sneaking> this is like a swingers' party but with ircnicks instead of genitals
<Bluebottle> "A Bag of Amphibians" is totally my new band name <Hark-Work> 8th level geckomancy spell <Pufferfish> at 8th level you ought at least to be able to walk on the ceiling <Hark-Work> Pufferfish: Thats the 7th level spell <Hark-Work> Bag of amphibians summons 10 gecko familiars that are part of a dance troupe <Bluebottle> Hark-Work: sweet, can you use them for bonuses to your own dance-offs <Hark-Work> Bluebottle: They form backing dancers to either you or your principal gecko familiar <Hark-Work> and give a huge bonus to all attributes for the dance off <Bluebottle> hurrah! <Hark-Work> depending on the attunment of your geckomancy focus you can skew the attribute boost more toward the attribute of your choice
< wally> nothing ruins sex more than having to bite off one of your penes to make a quick getaway
kangaroo Jim: i have a PC called whyham butts kangaroo just that david didn't know the surname till TOO LATE MOFO Pufferfish <3 Pufferfish Ornithocracy: about the only srs system where that is actually totally fine kangaroo david was all like "this pidgeon has a really fancy name" to james kangaroo and then james told him to think what followed the whyam
< net> Last time I used the super-thick treacle we use for shear coupling, and it got the job done. < Microraptor> what, as lube for sex?
<workdok> Leith had a suspicious package, so he geckonated it. <Pufferfish> Leith's package is *very* suspicious
<KremlinatWork?> note to self: definitely do not commission gecko-shaped nipple weights. <KremlinatWork?> (I actually want trapezoidal ones that say "10 tons" on) <Pufferfish> KremlinatWork?: :D <KremlinatWork?> (also candles for waxplay, if I thought I could cope with such, that say "DYNAMITE" on the side and are red) (continues for 10 minutes) <KremlinatWork?>... *how* did I not, in the above, think of mousetraps? <KremlinatWork?> they're a cartoon staple (continues for 15+ minutes)
<salavant> Nyeti: get that halo off <salavant> you don't deserve it (one minute later) <salavant> Nyeti: ... are you... are you fucking that halo?
< Zebbie> hmm in an average week I may interact by email or face to ace with a similar number of elves as people at my workplace
< tea> like, tregging is totally some sort of obscure sexual practice involving three men, a nun, and a dog, or something
< Pufferfish> I have already broken one person this week by telling them I can lick my own nipples :p < Chevron> damnit now i have an awkward wet patch on my shirt. :/
< Chevron> there's a special kind of fail where you set out on an innocent sightseeing bike ride and end up with no trousers in a park full of children and goats.
< salavant> obviously I'm not going to confirm or deny that my penis shoots sun lasers
< ahdok> oh, and I think there should be an inflatable spinosaurus instead of a washing machine.
< porange> a penis is not a free roaming entity in this setting
17:44 < Winterlove> Unsolicited penis is more a porange thing
Khimaera: green lantern game is fun for doing crazy things, the answer to many things is tentacles
13:04 Corinthus: Pufferfish: I am currently catsitting for some nice quakers who warden at Muswell Hill. I stepped out to put away the recycling, door blew shut. I then spent some time chatting with the ladies running the preschool using the building until we remembered the ladder in the stores, and then connected it with the open 1st floor window. 13:04 dp301_: Corinthus: and how much will bail be? 13:05 Corinthus: dp301_: Oh, the police were very understanding. Well, after they stopped laughing. :P 13:05 TimB: we need a system where only one person on channel may be busted out of jail per month
10:07 < Bluebottle> Rocket is the best name for a salad thing 10:08 < Bluebottle> "Arugula" makes it sound fancy, sure, but "rocket" makes it sound like EXPLOSIONS